And in time,

"This is just an interlude."

When I wrote that, I couldn't look into the future. I couldn't possibly know that soon after writing and publishing that post, my life would take a turn which would change my perspective and my priorities. But that's what happened. As my new self searched for meaning, everything that used to bring me joy became frivolous; I wasn't about to expend my energy on the little things anymore. It's not just Reading & Reviewing that I unceremoniously dropped from my to do list. You should've seen the state of my household. It definitely wasn't pretty.

It took me a long time (with a lot of healing yoga and a lot of introspection as I was determined to get to know who I am now) to realize that it's exactly the little things that give meaning and joy. Sunlight on my face, instruments coming together and just clicking to create one amazing song, how good it feels to cross something off a list, the warm glow I feel inside of me after a sip of bourbon, finding humor in everything, a small photo that just sold, a cabin in Norway… Getting lost in a good book.

It all translates to being present and alive, here and now.

I'm humbled by these small experiences and more like them, and opening up to little joys has allowed me to better understand my changed self, the self I now embrace fully.

This is Act 2. 

Well, then

A lot has happened in the past few months. In the span of a mere six weeks, we've had to bury both my uncle and my grandfather. When I'm processing a lot of emotions, I can't read. I can't finish the book I'm reading at that time. I develop a kind of tunnelconcentration – much like tunnelvision, I can only concentrate on one thing at a time. The past few months I concentrated on being okay and on acceptance. The rest fades away, and I'll wake up the next day thinking, "Oh right. That."

This is something I'm going to be working on – to try and multitask, to place value on multiple things at once.

Anyway, I've picked up my reading now. The Neil Gaiman book I started and paused? I'm almost finished, and glad I didn't give up on it after all. I've read a few books in the Aurora Teagarden series, and the third Bridget Jones. Books are once again a source of relaxation, mild escape, analysis and thought. The Bridget Jones book especially was a good one to read during this time, as it did in fact help me to process a lot of the sadness I've felt.

Well, then. No promises, remember? But this is just an interlude.

…soon

Gearing up to pick up this project properly for the first time in a while! I've set up a little writing space in my home so I can be more focused on reviewing. I've got a stack of books ready to be R&R-ed, as you can see.

For a while I've been too distracted (I kept forgetting about R&R, honestly, because I've been too focused on other things) and uninspired, ideas haven't been coming to me quite as easily as they used to. I also haven't been quite as much of a reader the past year, although right now I'm plowing through a Salman Rushdie and enjoying it: all hope is not yet lost.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I miss this project. I just miss it. I need to do it.

Apart from new reviews, I'm also considering redoing the layout for this whole website. More clean, less clutter. It might take me a while to get around to that part though 😛 but I'm feeling optimistic and glad that I'm at least thinking about this place and this project again.

Meanwhile I have been trying to blog at Karin-Elizabeth.com (about photography, plants, Rome, daily life). I think blogging there, and loving that, has helped me to begin fresh here.

As soon as I have a review ready, I'll post it. I've got my heart set on taking a photo tomorrow, so it shouldn't take me too long (this time).

Thank you, thank you, thank you, everyone who's begun following this blog. Thank you, thank you, thank you a million times over for those of you who are still reading this despite my continued absence and broken promises (to myself mostly).

Soon.