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Murakami, Haruki
1Q84

Poehler, Amy
Yes Please!
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And in time,

"This is just an interlude."

When I wrote that, I couldn't look into the future. I couldn't possibly know that soon after writing and publishing that post, my life would take a turn which would change my perspective and my priorities. But that's what happened. As my new self searched for meaning, everything that used to bring me joy became frivolous; I wasn't about to expend my energy on the little things anymore. It's not just Reading & Reviewing that I unceremoniously dropped from my to do list. You should've seen the state of my household. It definitely wasn't pretty.

It took me a long time (with a lot of healing yoga and a lot of introspection as I was determined to get to know who I am now) to realize that it's exactly the little things that give meaning and joy. Sunlight on my face, instruments coming together and just clicking to create one amazing song, how good it feels to cross something off a list, the warm glow I feel inside of me after a sip of bourbon, finding humor in everything, a small photo that just sold, a cabin in Norway… Getting lost in a good book.

It all translates to being present and alive, here and now.

I'm humbled by these small experiences and more like them, and opening up to little joys has allowed me to better understand my changed self, the self I now embrace fully.

This is Act 2. 

Well, then

A lot has happened in the past few months. In the span of a mere six weeks, we've had to bury both my uncle and my grandfather. When I'm processing a lot of emotions, I can't read. I can't finish the book I'm reading at that time. I develop a kind of tunnelconcentration – much like tunnelvision, I can only concentrate on one thing at a time. The past few months I concentrated on being okay and on acceptance. The rest fades away, and I'll wake up the next day thinking, "Oh right. That."

This is something I'm going to be working on – to try and multitask, to place value on multiple things at once.

Anyway, I've picked up my reading now. The Neil Gaiman book I started and paused? I'm almost finished, and glad I didn't give up on it after all. I've read a few books in the Aurora Teagarden series, and the third Bridget Jones. Books are once again a source of relaxation, mild escape, analysis and thought. The Bridget Jones book especially was a good one to read during this time, as it did in fact help me to process a lot of the sadness I've felt.

Well, then. No promises, remember? But this is just an interlude.

…soon

RR

Gearing up to pick up this project properly for the first time in a while! I've set up a little writing space in my home so I can be more focused on reviewing. I've got a stack of books ready to be R&R-ed, as you can see.

For a while I've been too distracted (I kept forgetting about R&R, honestly, because I've been too focused on other things) and uninspired, ideas haven't been coming to me quite as easily as they used to. I also haven't been quite as much of a reader the past year, although right now I'm plowing through a Salman Rushdie and enjoying it: all hope is not yet lost.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I miss this project. I just miss it. I need to do it.

Apart from new reviews, I'm also considering redoing the layout for this whole website. More clean, less clutter. It might take me a while to get around to that part though 😛 but I'm feeling optimistic and glad that I'm at least thinking about this place and this project again.

Meanwhile I have been trying to blog at Karin-Elizabeth.com (about photography, plants, Rome, daily life). I think blogging there, and loving that, has helped me to begin fresh here.

As soon as I have a review ready, I'll post it. I've got my heart set on taking a photo tomorrow, so it shouldn't take me too long (this time).

Thank you, thank you, thank you, everyone who's begun following this blog. Thank you, thank you, thank you a million times over for those of you who are still reading this despite my continued absence and broken promises (to myself mostly).

Soon.

I miss this

Hey guys. Long time no post. And I hate that. More so because I know I can fix it if I just put myself back on that horse, and spend time on this website. My life right now has reached a crossroads of sorts and it's been affecting my photography projects, namely Reading & Reviewing, for a while now.

I got engaged in May 🙂 Next year, I'll be getting married, which for us is our first step of starting a family. I'm 5 months away from my 30th birthday, and while I'm not afraid of the big Three Oh!, it is a milestone in life nonetheless and it's allowing me to evaluate what I want out of my life from here on out, apart from, obviously, starting a family.

The past year I've had a job which has been good in the sense that it has offered me some stability in income (much welcome next to my small but growing photography business), little as it was, and a routine. But I've become physically exhausted by and frustrated with it, and that in turn has been affecting my mood and my drive. So I've made the decision to quit. I don't want to be stuck in a routine and a job that makes me miserable to a tee. I don't want to do a job that makes me feel worthless, rather than useful.

I have 4 more weeks to go and I'm counting, counting, counting the final days. I'll be looking for a small but more grounded job in the meantime, and continue to grow my photography business, about which I'm getting truly excited again. (It has also suffered the past few months.) It was a job, a small job, but it made me lose my focus and my sense of self. I stopped having fun. I don't want to turn 30 in January and not be and feel who I truly am. I miss having ambition, I miss having plans, I miss having fun.

Counting down the days. It's been nice out, sunny. I'm reading… because I can. I am back to allowing myself to relax and sit down with a book. To me it's meaningful. To me it's resting my mind and body. I haven't allowed myself to do that much this year and it's taken me a while to realize that I've needed it more than any other time. I miss this. I miss reading and taking notes in my Moleskine. I miss being a dork and dressing up. I've felt too serious, too stressed, too stiff, for too long. Photography allows me to express myself; Reading & Reviewing allows me to have fun while also attempting to create something worthwhile.

Wow. This post turned out to be a hell of a lot more real and personal than I'd planned. I was going to post a photo or something and say, "Guess what! R&R is BACK!" but… this whole post has been about getting back to being me. And I'm just wordy and slightly emotional about things. And I've spent a lot of time and effort on this project in the past. It deserved a proper "comeback announcement".

One thing I will be doing from here on out for this project: I will stop making promises I can't keep. So I won't say when I'll post my next review. Just that it will be posted, and that I will try to get it ready soon. And that it will be of (what else?) one of the most discussed / read books at the moment: Fifty Shades of Grey.

I hope you'll check back in to read that review. Thanks for reading this post.